Have you ever repeated a lie to yourself often enough that at some point it became your truth? As a defense mechanism or self-preservation device, this practice is quite common. These days, however, it seems to be a permissible approach for some institutions that claim a direct connection to the inviolability of God’s eternal plan, specifically, in regard to the definition of marriage. Take for example the Mormon Church. This organization exaggerates and promotes the value of “traditional” marriage in order to deny a well documented past of embracing anything but this. Like many religions, the Mormon Church teaches that faith and deeds here on earth will be rewarded in heaven. Among these rewards, the Mormon promise of plural marriage for select righteous men is still a principle of their Heavenly Law.
Recently, the Mormon Church’s counsel, Kirton McConkie, wrote an amicus brief in support of Prop 8. Interestingly enough, the LDS Church is not the first party listed. It would appear that they did not want to be seen as the leading force behind the opposition to civil equality for all couples. For me, there was little doubt this organization would continue to oppose the antidiscrimination cases going before the Supreme Court this year; however, optimists believed, after the Church’s image took a beating in the backlash stemming from their initial participation, that this time the Church might take a milder approach. Optimists were wrong. The brief they filed is a vivid example of how some things never change.
In 38 pages of eloquent language, the document is testimony of homophobic arguments and bias rhetoric designed to deny LGBTQ citizens equal protection under the law. Mainly, the brief contrasts “choice” of homosexuals versus “tradition” of heterosexual marriage. They write:
“The value we place on traditional marriages is also influenced by rational judgments about human nature and the needs of individuals and society (especially children), and by our collect experience counseling and serving millions of followers over countless years.”
Aside from the cliché “this is about the children,” the LDS legal counsel uses the term “traditional marriage” as if to suggest that there is a well-established and transhistorical absolute regarding marriage. The use of this term is entirely misleading. In her book, Marriage, A History, Stephanie Coontz explains:
“Like most visions of a ‘golden age’, the ‘traditional family’ evaporates on closer examination. It is an historical amalgam of structures, values, and behaviors that never coexisted in the same time and place.”
Think Biblical marriages, for example, in all their variations: polygamist, as a result of a man raping a woman, arranged, etc. Let’s also not forget Biblical condemnation of interfaith or interracial marriages.
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Soon after my first poems and short stories were published, I was forced to face the perceived gender transgression in my narrative voice. “You are a woman,” a young lady who sat across from me at the Union’s cafeteria exclaimed. She held in her hands a copy of a university publication in which my work had been featured. My first thought: How dare you? Her assertion conjured up all the demons a young, closeted, gay Mormon man could harbor. I felt vulnerable, naked, reading too much into an utterance that was intended as a compliment. “You experience love like a woman,” she completed her analysis, easing my anxiety, and, I’m sure, that of my girlfriend, sitting next to me.
